Cancer sucks

In the past 16 months there have been 4 cases of cancer diagnosis in my neighborhood alone. One of which was my precious child. In ONE year!! The bad news keeps coming. It keeps getting worse. It feels like our whole community is under cancer attack. I hate cancer. I hate everything that it does and everything that it means. I hate that people have to fight this hateful disease.
The feeling you feel when you hear the words, "your wife, your husband your son has cancer", is unexplainable. I can't even relate to you the sick feeling it brings up. Even just thinking back for me makes me cry and feel that wave of panic mixed with terror.  To know it keeps happening in our community is heartbreaking. It's so unfair. If you know me for 5 seconds you know I don't believe in fair. To me fair is where a pig wins a prize. When dealing with cancer however I'm all about this sucks and it isn't fair!! Another sweet family has to walk this road of chemo and surgeries. Another set of children have to wonder, wonder about who knows what, but still wonder.
Before Zion was diagnosed I was the ultimate PollyAnna in the face of cancers and illnesses. "Everything will be just fine!", "God's got this!". He does. However looking back that was the crappiest thing I could have said to anyone in this situation. I knew God was in control of our situation. But I was afraid. I didn't want to hear "all things work together for good". Really? I couldn't hear another encouraging word. Words are so meaningless when your heart hurts so much you literally think it'll break.
As I have heard  of more  illness, not just in our community but in the circle of people I know, I am at a loss of what to say. I know my God is in control. I know He is walking with each family who is suffering. He is the only thing that can ease the suffering.  No amount of cards, happy's, and for goodness sakes casseroles is going to take away the cancer.
 When people would drop off gifts or meals or little happy's to us while we walked the cancer road with Zion it was so sweet of them to think of us. Yet when they drove away I would always be just a little bit angry that they got to go home and hug their healthy child and live a carefree life. I would walk back in the house and hug my baby who had this ugly mean tumor on him. It wasn't fair. As I have encountered others now going through a similar experience I've become acutely aware that they be irritated at times because I can walk away healthy. So for now instead of a meal or a gift I'll pray.
 When you don't know what to do or say, just pray. That's it? Yes, that's it friends.  NOTHING in this world can calm your heart like God can. NOTHING can bring peace like the power of God. And NOTHING can heal someone miraculously with cancer like God can. I can not make enough meals to take away cancer. But I know the One who can work miracles in my friends. The doctors can tell you the diagnosis but only God knows the prognosis. I don't understand why prayer works I just know it does.

Tonight as I sit here feeling helpless I'll be on my knees. Unfortunately I have a list of folks I know suffering through cancer and crappy illnesses. Many of you know someone who has cancer now or has had it in the past. I would encourage you to stop and pray for them, right now.