It's not what you think! I swear.. I know you think I have some sort of spending issue, or that my hubby has taken control and cut me off, never to spend again. Not. Even. Close.
October 1st marked a new day in Jen Weir's wallet. After ordering my weekly cuppa, I handed the barista my debit and she politely says, " oh ma'am I'm sorry but this card has expired". ***gasp*** Drat. I knew I meant to do something last night. Activate my new card for one thing, of which I've had for TWO MONTHS, of which has been sitting on my craft table for TWO MONTHS so I didn't lose it. You might be thinking, wow, procrastinate much?? Well, that's sort of the reason. However in this situation it's a little fuzzy as to why I procras, I mean hesitated, on this activity.
Handing my old friend over to the shredder it hit me. This rectangle piece of plastic has been with me for 4 years.
It's first year marked our pioneering into the world of homeschooling, so with my trusty friend I bought countless books, paper, pencils, ect. Second year it traveled to Dallas, innumerable times in order to see oncologists and surgeons on behalf of my son. It was swiped through untold Starbucks as we left these offices, in hopes of getting a little happy cuppa for the long drive home. I bought my son a five dollar loaf of bread from Subway because he needed food after a surgery. Yes, $5, just bread, no sandwich. True story. I bought him nasty peanut butter crackers and over priced juice and a shady gas station somewhere in Dallas for the same reason. In case your wondering, don't they feed you at the hospital, um no, not really, not with out patient procedures.
Cardy was swiped through gas stations as I realized I was about to run out of gas heading home from, well just about everywhere. Swiped at the parking garage and the parking valet at the other hospital. During that time great vacations were had. It got swiped at zippy marts along route 66, in desolate places driving through New Mexico and Arizona. The gas station in Barstow that smelled like pee because it was 1000 degrees outside and the plumbing wasn't working as one would hope.
Cardy's third year in my wallet was spent running to dr's appointments to check out my ever growing belly, carrying Selah Jane. It paid for co-pays and more Starbucks trips.
Wait a minute. Stop reading. This is the worst blog I've ever written.
Talk about a huge yawn of a blog. There is not a human alive that would relate to this. Ok, from here on out, this is my personal journal let's say. If you wish to contnue, know that you do so being fair warned that you will be bored. Carry on.
It's just when I looked at that card today, I flashed through every single rough place we'd been the past 4 years. Every great moment in time as well. For some reason, with this season the rough spots are easier to remember. I grieved all over again the phone call that changed my life. The many phone calls I answered holding my breath. The co-pays I resented paying because it was going for another visit to a scary place. I remembered the Starbucks trips that were filled with untold amounts of tears being wiped away trying to hide from the barista because I had just left my baby girl in the NICU, again, and I missed her so bad my heart ached. I could only had him cardy and pray he didn't ask if my evening was going well. (barista's, too chatty some days for even me)
Putting my card back in my wallet before I headed into to see baby girl in case I needed something at that blessed hospital.
The joy of swiping it at Disney World on our make a wish trip. The anger of using at Target last minute as I realized my son need pull on pants because he'd have a huge gaping wound on his leg from a skin graft. The anticipation of buying Selah Jane's coming home outfit, only to be crushed we'd have to wait a few more days. The elation of using it at Trader Joe's for the first time in Texas!! Gah, can I get a hallelujah for that one?? Used all day long on my 40th birthday, blessing folks with some fun treats and the best birthday gift to me, being used to pay for a precious couple's 57th wedding anniversary dinner.
I didn't always have the same purse. I didn't always carry the same wallet. Hell I didn't even have the same phone. But I did always have the same red card. Over the past 4 years I've had to pay for things that were bitter and things that were sweet. That card caused a flood of memories that really, no picture could ever capture. Everyday, every place I went, I had that silly card with me.
Memories are funny. I'm not sentimental. I have a box in my closet high up on a shelf that hold a precious treasure that every once in awhile I dare to let myself look in. The memories in there are still fresh and raw, though they are from another painful time in Weir,Tx. I believe my trusty card might just have to be popped in there to be kept for safe keeping.